So... I'm going to be humorous... it's been a while since I've put an update on this site, and despite the fact that I just took another test from hell, I feel the need to display some signs of life and humor.
Dr. Chan, one of the professors of Computer Science here at SUNY Fredonia, is a very serious computer scientist, and a math prodigy. He enjoys rigourous logic problems and gets a joy out of learning new programming languages and writing compilers for them (usually in the space of about 3 days). Nevertheless, he has a tendency to not think carefully about what he's saying, and so he uses short abbreviations in a somewhat humorous way. The best example? Ass. Short for assignment.
The following is a series of phrases Jeffery Jones and I came up with one night based on Chan and his use off 'ass'.
"Hey, the new ass is on the web today."
"Oh, this is, what, ass 6?"
"Yeah. We're really moving along with this ass, too."
"You started on the ass without me?"
"Yeah, well, you know I like to do each ass early."
"How many questions?"
"8."
"DAMN! That's one big ass!"
"Well, we only need to have up to part 4 done?"
"Oh, half-ass."
"Yeah. We don't have to do the entire thing."
"These questions are insane. That's why he doesn't want the ass-whole?"
"Right. When I got the last one back, Chan said I had the best ass?"
"You beat my ass?"
"Yeah, don't you remember? You're ass was all red from that."
"Yeah. Maybe we can look each other's ass over to make sure they work right."
"That sounds like a good idea. Show me your ass."
"Here it is."
"This one required a lot of thought."
"Yeah, I noticed how deep an ass it was."
"Yeah. HEY..."
"What?"
"I finished the last question."
"Scratch that ass. You know, there was no point to this stuff."
"You think it was a dumb ass?"
"Yes."
"Oh come on, a lot of this stuff was very relevant."
"Yeah, but it only caters to people who can do math really well."
"So it's a smart ass?"
"Yeah... hey, you have a mistake in here?"
"What's wrong with my ass?"
"You've got too much white-space?"
"My ass is too wide?"
"Yes. And you need to put this into it."
"Wow... I'll have to stick this in my ass right away."
"Yee-haw!"
"You enjoyed Chan's Ass, didn't you?"
"His ass was a lot of fun."
{Sigh} "I suppose I should get on his ass now."
"You gonna understand this?"
"Yeah, I'll pull something out of this ass."
"I just hope everyone has the sense to do their own ass."
"Yeah, otherwise Chan might tell us that all our asses look the same."
"Well, I want full credit for my ass."
"Don't worry. I'm sure he'll like your ass a lot."
"Don't forget to hand him your ass tomorrow."
"Right. I'm hoping to give him my ass in the evening."
"Are you going to send it by email?"
"No... he prefers my actual ass, not a digital copy of it."
"Um... is that what I think it is?"
"Yes I always hang my most recent ass on the wall."
"Yeah, my parents always want to see my ass."
"Whenever I do well, my parents will kiss my ass."
"Hah, done."
"Woah, you wiped that ass out."
"Well, it wasn't that bad... I have a pretty clean ass too."
"Well, just don't show that one girl your ass, she might want it too."
"Well, my ass is my business. I'll help her with her ass if she wants, but she has to put some effort in too."
"Yeah. Well, she seems to care about her ass now. She spent over 12 hours in the lab working at her ass."
"Some people told me her ass was terrific."
"Well, it goes back to when I tutored her a couple of times. She's getting so good that when I gave her one I made up, she did it fast."
"She licked your ass?"
"Yep."
"Woah. That girl can eat any ass for breakfast."
"Yeah. I guess she knows how to handle an ass."
"Yup. Have a good night."
"You too."
AUTO RESPONSE MESSAGE: I have to get up early tomorrow to show Dr. Chan my ass. He'll be so proud.
:-)
Dr. Chan, one of the professors of Computer Science here at SUNY Fredonia, is a very serious computer scientist, and a math prodigy. He enjoys rigourous logic problems and gets a joy out of learning new programming languages and writing compilers for them (usually in the space of about 3 days). Nevertheless, he has a tendency to not think carefully about what he's saying, and so he uses short abbreviations in a somewhat humorous way. The best example? Ass. Short for assignment.
The following is a series of phrases Jeffery Jones and I came up with one night based on Chan and his use off 'ass'.
"Hey, the new ass is on the web today."
"Oh, this is, what, ass 6?"
"Yeah. We're really moving along with this ass, too."
"You started on the ass without me?"
"Yeah, well, you know I like to do each ass early."
"How many questions?"
"8."
"DAMN! That's one big ass!"
"Well, we only need to have up to part 4 done?"
"Oh, half-ass."
"Yeah. We don't have to do the entire thing."
"These questions are insane. That's why he doesn't want the ass-whole?"
"Right. When I got the last one back, Chan said I had the best ass?"
"You beat my ass?"
"Yeah, don't you remember? You're ass was all red from that."
"Yeah. Maybe we can look each other's ass over to make sure they work right."
"That sounds like a good idea. Show me your ass."
"Here it is."
"This one required a lot of thought."
"Yeah, I noticed how deep an ass it was."
"Yeah. HEY..."
"What?"
"I finished the last question."
"Scratch that ass. You know, there was no point to this stuff."
"You think it was a dumb ass?"
"Yes."
"Oh come on, a lot of this stuff was very relevant."
"Yeah, but it only caters to people who can do math really well."
"So it's a smart ass?"
"Yeah... hey, you have a mistake in here?"
"What's wrong with my ass?"
"You've got too much white-space?"
"My ass is too wide?"
"Yes. And you need to put this into it."
"Wow... I'll have to stick this in my ass right away."
"Yee-haw!"
"You enjoyed Chan's Ass, didn't you?"
"His ass was a lot of fun."
{Sigh} "I suppose I should get on his ass now."
"You gonna understand this?"
"Yeah, I'll pull something out of this ass."
"I just hope everyone has the sense to do their own ass."
"Yeah, otherwise Chan might tell us that all our asses look the same."
"Well, I want full credit for my ass."
"Don't worry. I'm sure he'll like your ass a lot."
"Don't forget to hand him your ass tomorrow."
"Right. I'm hoping to give him my ass in the evening."
"Are you going to send it by email?"
"No... he prefers my actual ass, not a digital copy of it."
"Um... is that what I think it is?"
"Yes I always hang my most recent ass on the wall."
"Yeah, my parents always want to see my ass."
"Whenever I do well, my parents will kiss my ass."
"Hah, done."
"Woah, you wiped that ass out."
"Well, it wasn't that bad... I have a pretty clean ass too."
"Well, just don't show that one girl your ass, she might want it too."
"Well, my ass is my business. I'll help her with her ass if she wants, but she has to put some effort in too."
"Yeah. Well, she seems to care about her ass now. She spent over 12 hours in the lab working at her ass."
"Some people told me her ass was terrific."
"Well, it goes back to when I tutored her a couple of times. She's getting so good that when I gave her one I made up, she did it fast."
"She licked your ass?"
"Yep."
"Woah. That girl can eat any ass for breakfast."
"Yeah. I guess she knows how to handle an ass."
"Yup. Have a good night."
"You too."
AUTO RESPONSE MESSAGE: I have to get up early tomorrow to show Dr. Chan my ass. He'll be so proud.
:-)
